Just Be Kind

The idea for this post is one that has been on my mind for quite some time. I'm writing tonight about a serious epidemic that's occurring everyday in our schools.  I see it in elementary school, Dawn talks about it occurring in middle school, and I know it happens in high schools.  I'm talking about the fact that girls are just plain MEAN.  They've been for quite some time, and the way that the female population treats one another is just awful.  

This topic really hits home for me, because I was bullied throughout a good part of my school career. I had started elementary school with a good core group of girls from my neighborhood.  We were all pretty close, attending school together, waiting by the bus stop together, and even having play dates.  Once I hit third grade, new girls moved into my neighborhood, and for some reason, they chose to be mean to me.  

Thinking back, I'm really not sure why. In elementary school, one girl who lived around the corner, told me that I was "plump." I had another girl and her brother throw oranges at me when I was sitting quietly on the bus minding my own business.  In middle school I found a new group of good girlfriends, and I distanced myself away from the mean girls.  Once I got to high school, I really didn't have the time or energy anymore to pay attention to their stupidity.  I heard that one girl tried to continue to spread rumors about me later in high school.  By that time, I was so over them, and really most of them were jerks to me that I had written them off.  

The thing is, now that I'm a grown adult and look back on the bullies, where I am now, and everything in between, it means nothing.  Back then it meant everything.   Now, it means more in my classroom to be sure that all my students know that I have zero tolerance for students being unkind to one another.  It gets us nowhere.  Those girls, I could care less if I have a friendship with them anymore.  In fact, I'm GLAD I stopped trying to be their friends.  They had nothing positive to add to my life.  One of my closest friends who also attended elementary school with me also agreed that she, too, wanted to be friends with those girls.  Now looking back, we can both say that if we could have been inside the walls of those classrooms, we would have pulled our little 9 year old selves aside and said, "Stop trying to be their friends.  Friend's aren't mean to one another. Move on!"  

My story is just one of many, and to be honest, it's mild.  Some stories are horrific, and end in self-harm or suicide because young girls just can't handle the pressure of other girls crushing their spirit.  I didn't have to deal with cyber-bullying like the students today have to deal with.  With the push of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all those other social media sites, kids just can't get a break.  

I'd like to introduce you to the Kind Campaign.  I encourage you to visit their website and see what they are all about.  The mission of Kind Campaign is as follows:

An internationally recognized movement, documentary and school program based upon the powerful belief in KINDness, that brings awareness and healing to the negative and lasting effects of girl-against-girl “crime.”

They hold screenings of their documentary, "Finding Kind," all over the country in schools for girls, parents and teachers to become educated on how to change the way girls treat one another.  In addition, they have assemblies and school programs that encourage girls to become kinder.  I wish this was around when I was in school. Please visit their website, and if you think that your school or your child's school could benefit from their program, speak to your school's administration.   Here's the trailer for "Finding Kind:"

The other problem is, that ADULTS aren't kind to one another.  I've witnessed multiple times in public and in the workplace, people are so caught up with stress and life, that they don't stop to think about how they are speaking to one another. I've even heard stories about how family members talk to and treat one another.  The things that you say to the people around you are things people won't ever forget.  Don't be remembered for being that way. At the end of it all, wouldn't you want to be remembered as a kind, caring, compassionate person?

 I was at a Taylor Swift concert over the summer, and I loved her talk about growing up, bullies and kindness prior to singing the song, "Mean."  

(Please try to listen closely past the screams to hear what she says! )

Don't listen through the screams, watch Taylor's Grammy Performance.  I love this version!

Unfortunately, as you grow older, the bullies don't go away.  We're just a little bit smarter on how to spot them and how to deal with them.  I just think if we educate our kids on how to be kinder, our schools will be a much safer, happier place to be.

If you, or someone you know is being bullied, speak to an adult at your school or your child's school. No one should ever endure someone repeatedly picking on them.  It hurts, and it's not necessary.  Let's put a stop to this awful, mean girl epidemic.

If you're a bully, or you've bullied someone in the past, it's never too late to apologize for your mean, unnecessary behavior.  Just sayin'.

Wishing you all a fantastic, bully-free week!  Find it somewhere in your heart to just be kind. xo

Today Dawn and I are taking part in the be.YOU.tiful link party from the blog, Fry, Sauce & Grits.  Head over to their blog to see more about this Lifestyle Link Party!