Tears

A Small Moment in the Classroom

We had just sent our students off to work in small groups when one student approached me with red, glassy eyes, that were beginning to tear up. He started speaking, his voice shaky, and managed to get out that he need to "speak to {deep breath} both of his teachers about {deep breath} staying organized."

Sensing that the floodgates would open at any second, I whisked him outside and asked him what was wrong. As soon as I opened my classroom door, a rush of tears came streaming down his face. His nose was also running and he was trying to keep it together but couldn't. He stared at me with his big blue eyes and my heart. just. sank...  I wanted to cry with him. I hate seeing my students upset. I'm so sensitive that I feel like crying right alongside them.

"I'm having a problem staying organized. I keep forgetting my homework folder and my supplies. I'm at my mom's house a few nights and then I'm at my dad's house. I just don't know what to do and I need help. It's really hard." Poor W managed to get all of that out in bits and pieces as he fought back tears, wiped his nose with the back of his hand, and took a few deep breaths.

And now tears were really welling up in my eyes.

I wanted to hug him and tell him that "everything would be ok." I remember seeing his dad's "student information" sheet. Dad explained his recent divorce over the summer and how W was having a hard time with the transition.

We calmed W down right away and this is where we threw on the many hats that teachers wear. In that instant, we became moms, guidance counselors, friends, coaches, and shoulders to cry on.

I experience these breakdowns more than a few times a year with my students. For some reason, parents seem to get divorced as soon as their kid turns ten. Maybe they think their kids are old enough to handle it? Who knows. But it's heartbreaking and kids are far from being able to handle it... if anything, middle school makes the situation that. much. worse.

I don't consider days like this one bad, hard, or tough... they're absolutely heart wrenching. It's all I can think about for the rest of the day, on my drive home from work, cooking dinner, preparing for tomorrow, and the list goes on. It was the first thing I told my husband tonight.

Growing up is hard. Being a student is hard. Having a stable family means everything. I'm reminded of it every day. Every day for the past eight years, since having my own classroom, I've realized how LUCKY I am to have such amazing parents. They provided such a loving, caring, warm, stable home life for me and I only wish that all of my students could have the same thing.

Today was a heart wrenching day, but I can't wait to get back into the classroom tomorrow to help my students feel safe, loved, and cared for in our stable classroom environment.